Awww

My first Momma sent me this picture from when I was only a few weeks old:

That's me on the far left and my brothers and sister being held by Miss Mary.  It was a kind of furry time in my life.  I was the runt, though.  You can't tell that from this picture, but Daddy said I was the runt.  He was the runt in his family too.  Usually the runt gets pushed around alot.  So we both know what its like to get pushed around alot.  I don't think Daddy cried, though.  I do.

I'm okay now.  Daddy, not so much.  He'll get over it someday.

Because of all the steak I get to eat, I'm bigger now.  All the kids in my first family have good homes and wonderful parents, just like me.  Except I'm a 40059 dog and that means I get to chase deers, rabbits, chipmonks, squirrels and kittykats.  I'll chase birds after I flush them out of their trees.

Birds don't like me, but I don't care about them either.  I talk to the deer.  Sometimes they talk back by stomping their hoofs at me.  They don't get steak, so I wonder how they got to be so big.  They're fast - almost as fast as me.  If I wasn't on a leash, I'd be able to get 'em everytime.

Although I'm French - all Bichons are French, you know - this picture was taken over in Lawrenceburg, KY.  My Momma says they have the "best country ham in the USA" and she's going to take me back there so we can get some and I can visit with my first family, my biological (I think that's like Episcopal or something) parents, and run around on the farm.  That's in Bourbon Country and I'm sure Daddy will have a good time too.

Ya'll need to come visit.  I'll be good and give you kisses, if you want.

Well, that's how I see it.

Au revoir,

Henri

A Moveable Feast

Giving new life to Hemingway's memoirs, today we discover another portable feast from the perspective of dogdom.  Certainly not rich with artistic, cultural, or literary meaning and production.  Yet this one is rife with potential, enthusiasm, and good things if you're the dog. 

We're talking t-bones folks:

Yup, and they're moveable - all around the house.

Henri tends to limit portability to the kitchen - primarily because he's afraid his Momma might take it away from him.  But his Daddy (he's the "other dog" in the house and understands all this) lets him gnaw and grind for around 30 minutes anywhere in the kitchen.

T-bones are good for dogs - they clean the teeth, provide valuable minerals and proteins, and enhance the dogs general well-being and attitude (provided you don't take it away too soon).

So Henri is healthy, well-adjusted, has clean breathe and teeth and will work for bones with the best of them.

Good boy, Henri!!

Til next time, I'm Henri and that's the way I see it!

Pork Shoulder in the Slow Cooker

Typically I would prepare a pork shoulder roast on the grill - indirect heat with apple and hickory wood chunks for smoke. Investing the better part of a day to this effort is not something I mind, but once in awhile I have wondered whether there’s an alternative.

Hold that thought.

A couple of months ago we were treated to an evening at a local Cuban restaurant where we had one of the most delicious pork roast dishes ever. Slow roasted, apparently, and with a hint of citrus and spice. Kind of a Caribbean flair with just a hint of heat. Very succulent. Nice. Paired with some “mango-thingy”, rice and a salad, it was an evening we decided we’d go for again. Oh, and beer.

Now hold that thought.

For my birthday (can’t tell you how many it was or I’d have to shoot myself) Jenny sent me a grab bag of goodies from Charleston, SC that included a Jerk Spice packet. It was the “mild” version but, notably, included salt, allspice, paprika, red chili flakes, dried onion, cayenne, thyme, cinnamon (mon), nutmeg and celery seeds. Now go look in your pantry or spice drawer - you’ve got that stuff, right? Got light brown sugar and some orange juice? An onion?

If you add a 5 or 6 pound pork shoulder roast (you know, the kind you would spend all day smoking on the grill) you got all it takes to re-create Havana (might add a cigar and some rum to the room for atmosphere).

The shopping/prep list is:

2 medium yellow onions, peeled and quartered

4 medium carrots sliced roughly on the diagonal

6 pound pork shoulder roast (bone-in or not)

Jerk seasoning - dry (about 2 tablespoons)

½ cup orange juice

½ cup water

Peel and slice onions into quarters and four carrots into pieces and drop them into a slow cooker. Add a half cup each of orange juice and water. Lightly pat a mix of the jerk seasoning onto all surfaces of the pork roast and place the pork over the onions. Cover the fat side with light brown sugar. Cover and cook (fat side up) on low for as long as you want. I did mine for 7 hours, turned the slow cooker to “simmer” and left it overnight. So it was working for around 14 hours by the time I turned it off at 5:30 this morning.

Here it is:

You’ll have to come up with the “mango-thingy” on your own, but this will work if you have limited time, a good appetite and a slow cooker. Trust me, I’m a docta - well, actually a Chief.

As a side note - we can’t use a whole Boston Butt (aka pork shoulder roast) around here unless there is company coming. I buy them at about the typical size of 7-8 pounds and butcher them into halves and freeze them. A “half” will thaw in about 6 hours at room temperature and be ready to go at that point. Ask your butcher at the grocery store to help and he/she will do the rest. I like saving money, though.

Peach, actually.

Hope I am not endorsing a product - and if I am it is without compensation (an issue that needs attention) - but, here is an endorsement:

I have been using a Kroger's brand of cereal called 100% Natural Cereal (very creative isn't it?) with oats, raisins and honey.  On the back of the package is a recipe for "Apple Crumble".  I tried it and we found it to be delicious.  Very easy to prepare.

I made a couple of tweaks to the recipe though even the first time around - usually, I'd give a recipe enough credit to do it verbatum the first time and then add my flair or preferences the second time though.  But, I did it my way.  Here's the recipe Kroger's way with my changes noted beside the original listing:

5 tart apples, peeled, cored and thinly sliced (I used 4 Granny Smith apples)
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 teaspoons grated orange peel (used one large navel orange)
1 1/2 cups cereal
1/2 cup flour (all purpose)
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar (I used light brown sugar)
1/2 cup butter or margarine softened (obviously you want butter)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  In a large bowl place sliced apples; sprinkle with lemon juice, sugar, cinnamon, and orange peel.  In a medium bowl combine cereal, flour, brown sugar, and butter; stir together until crumbly.  Place apples in 9 inch baking pan (how about a 9" deep-dish casserole dish that you have greased lightly with butter - "deep" as in at least 4" tall), sprinkle with cereal mixture.  Bake for 30 minutes to 35 minutes or until golden brown.  Yields 6 servings (not really - try 4 nice ones).

Here's another tweak:  Follow the same recipe but use 4 peaches, skinned, pitted and thinly sliced.  Thinly sliced is a key to both these recipes (about 1/8 inch thin or even less if you can do it without carving up your fingers.  A mandolin (not the one you play like a guitar) would help.  Skip the orange peel and use a shot glass full of good orange juice, a teaspoon of vanilla extract and 3/4 cup of light brown sugar and no refined white sugar.

Both turn out a very delicious fruit dessert -- cobbler-style.  Could have added a scoop of ice cream for added calories.  I liked it as is.  We eat the cereal anyway and I discovered this on the back of the package ... admit it, you read cereal boxes too!  In my groggy morning state, its all the reading depth I can muster.

Stick Dog Outbreak Being Reported in Midwestern and Southern States

Recently I spoke with Earl Grouper, Jr. of the US Department of Agronomics and Cultural Introversity (USACI) and he told me of a “new and dangerous outbreak” of the “Stick Dog Phenomena” that has surfaced certain Midwestern and Southern states within the USA. Stick Dog Phenomena (known as SDP) is a rare but serious situation where domestic dogs suddenly turn their attention to sticks they find and chew on them until they become mulch - usually hardwood mulch, but at times, pine bark mulch or even just regular mulch.

The danger being posed (known as DBP) here is explained well in my interview with Earl:

Ned: You have been reporting that an outbreak of Stick Dog Phenomena (SDP) has struck suburban America in some locations.

Earl: Yes, in parts of the Midwest and South.

Ned: Tell us about SDP.

Earl: Well, it is a situation we consider grave. I mean serious.

Ned: What is SDP?

Earl: It is a situation where you find suburban dogs picking up sticks they find and grinding the sticks into small pieces - much like you would see them chewing on steak bones.

Ned: I see. Why is this an issue?

Earl: Well, dogs that chew sticks grind them into such small particles that the particles are unusable and must be discarded. That’s the DBP of it all.

Ned: I don’t understand. Why is this an issue or a problem?

Earl: You don’t understand the implications of this behavior among dogs. First of all, especially if you extrapolate this practice, it has severe implications for industry, commerce, ecology, the environment, our culture and lastly the American Way.

Ned: Please explain.

Earl: I will. Since we no longer have urban areas or rural areas in this country we find this issue in our suburban populace areas. Stick Dogs occur in these highly dense locations and are destroying the ecosystem of the habitat.

Ned: What do you mean “we have no urban or rural areas” in this country?

Earl: Well, well we don’t. Look, look all urban areas are considered war zones and we have driven the farmers out of their land and just paid them to not grow crops or raise critters so we buy those things from Mexico or other countries in Central and South America. So essentially there is no urban or rural parts of this country intact, just the suburban parts.

Ned: I see. How does SDP play into this as a threat?

Earl: SDP is an issue that may well radically change the culture and economics of our land. What I mean by that is, if we have no sticks, then certain things we have taken for granted and things that we expect to happen just might not occur again.

Ned: Please explain.

Earl: Well, you have certainly heard the expression “let the sticks fall where they may” or “pick up sticks” or “do you have your sticks with you?” These are all expressions that will disappear in our culture to say nothing about the impact on the Oriental Food industry or the Toy industry or our Landscaping businesses as well as Sports and Recreation and the general vernacular in this society.

Ned: I’m not sure I am following you here. Please explain.

Earl: Certainly you are aware that sticks, as a group of things, play a major role in how we communicate, relate, and exist in our suburban culture. Let me explain that. We all have said “let the sticks fall where they may” and if there are no more sticks then this phrase will have no meaning. In the same way, Pick-up-sticks as a childs’ game will disappear and when golfers ask if their buddies have their sticks (or clubs) with them, no one will understand. So this disappearance of sticks could be serious and a threat to many things we have taken or granted in America up to now.

Ned: Huh. I see. Tell me more.

Earl: Well, we at USACI are not taking this change in a casual manner. Nope, even our President has noticed this happening in the White House (he has a dog you know) and he is concerned and told us to give this issue our top priority going forward. So we have launched a multi-billion dollar effort to stem the tide of SDP throughout the USA and our territories. We are doing this through a series of awareness communications, articles like this one and we plan on a major media blitz in a few years - probably in 2017.

Ned: Can you give us a sneak-peek?

Earl: Sure. Here’s a photo of one of these vicious dogs we think is stricken with SDP:

Notice his demeanor. He looks as though he might want to growl, bear his teeth and become violent with you. This is dangerous and a threat. This dog is typical of one stricken with SDP. You need to be wary of a dog like this.

Ned: What are the early warning signs of SDP?

Earl: You may notice sticks laying around the house like this:

Then a pile of them on your deck or courtyard (depending on your suburban location), like this:

Or even small scrapes of chewed up sticks scattered about. Take notice and be aware of these clues.  These dogs might appear innocuous or non-threatening, but don’t be fooled. They are dangerous and need to be watched and monitored throughout the day for suspicious behaviors. Mostly picking up sticks and chewing on them without regard to the consequences. They might even gather in groups to do this unnoticed by their owners.  Here's a couple of them we caught planning a stick-chewing event in their neighborhood:

We have even discovered that these dogs will conceal their intentions and disguise themselves, like this one did:

You have to admit, he doesn't look like he might be a Stick Dog, but we're sure he is one of them, since we've actually caught him in the act (as it were).

Be aware and cautious of these types of dogs in your home and in your suburban areas.  They pose a threat to us all and we're going to take action against them and their kind.

Ned:  Interesting.  Who else is involved in the effort?

Earl:  My boss and Chief of Staff for the USACI, Petey Snapper, as well as the President's appointed advisor, Nancy Halibut, have all weighed in as supporters of what we have planned.  The First Lady, in fact, has decided to emphasize this in her frequent speeches to grammar school students to raise awareness among suburban families.  So we think we're getting the exposure we need to stem the tide of this serious issue in our country.

Ned:  Thanks, Earl, for all the information.  It makes me feel real good that our federal government is on top of all the serious issues of our times.  I'll want to pledge more of my funds to your efforts ...  I am so sure.  Satirically speaking, that is.

Wyatt, the Hummingbird

This year we added a hummingbird feeder to the courtyard.  Why these things are always so ugly and uncreative I'll never understand - but the birds "get it" and one of them is a big fan.

We have a little guy that thinks this feeder his his private domain and seems to guard it with some passion and energy.  He'll fend off other hummingbirds, fly in circles around it and chirp and squalk to chase off competitors for the nectar.  Who knew that hummingbirds made a sound - but they do.  It is just as audible, clear and strong as the buzz they create when they fly near you.

Our guardian hummingbird now has a name -- "'Wyatt' the Hummingbird" is shown below (sorry he is little - and fast).  We're calling him Wyatt since he is obviously in charge, large (as it were), and can summon his posse at a moment's notice.  He's the "high sheriff" of the courtyard and this is HIS feeder:

So that is Wyatt.  Additional retirement benefits, by the way.

I like it.  And Wyatt thanks you and appreciates the good press ... and the red flowers too.

Louisville Skewers

I am trying something new - an alternative method of grilling a pork shoulder roast.  We usually buy pork shoulders (Boston Butt) and then carve them into two chunks since there is just the two of us.  Generally (meaning "always up until today") I smoke them on my Weber grill with indirect heat, a pot of water and hickory or apple wood chips.  It turns into pulled pork BBQ and is quite good.  I favor a cross between the Carolina vinegar-based BBQ sauce and the Tennessee tomato-based version and sweeten the whole pot up with extra sugars (light brown sugar and "maple surple").

Today is a different deal - someone's getting "bored" with pulled pork.  Not sure how that happens.  So I went searching for an idea to use with the four halves of a Boston Butt shoulder roast sitting in my freezer.

Lo and behold surfaces a Phillipino recipe for carved shoulder roast that is skewered and grilled.  Now I have altered the original intent by marinating and basting with that BBQ sauce of mine, but here they are grilling away with a butterflied chicken and some hickory chunks on the Weber.  I used steel skewers instead of wooden so I didn't have to worry about the cooking time destroying the skewers.

We have no idea how these will turn out and if it is worthwhile I'll share.  Got to admit they look delish.

Part of My Retirement Package

A couple of months ago at about 6AM Henri and I were coming down the front steps for his morning constitutional.  In the front lawn lay a doe and she was giving birth to fawns.  Two of them.  One of the fawns was on his feet and the other was being cleaned up by the momma deer.  Eventually, they both made it up on their own.  The fawns looked to be around 14 or 15 inches tall and about as long.

Henri saw them but kept his distance.  The doe saw us, but was over-occupied and didn't react.

Here it is in July and now the fawns are around three feet tall and getting some size to them. 

I took this picture yesterday morning around 10AM.  They were just lounging under a pine tree in the early heat of the day.   Its all part of my retirement package - I frankly probably never would have slowed down enough to even notice these two little guys, much less had the chance to grab my camera and get a snapshot.

I like retirement.

Etched Aromas of Carmel, Maple Syrup ...

I have reintroduced an old friend back into my kitchen -- Marsala.  Not sure why, exactly, he/she's been missing for around three years, but that is the case.  Note the Wine Enthusiast take on the Florio Fine Dry Marsala we have always used.  You can go with the sweet version, but if I want sugars, I'll add them myself.  Besides, who wants to mess up the "etched aromas" with something else?

The tilapia recipe is going on now in my house along with risotto (added grated Romano and some freshly chopped fresh basil leaf out of the herb garden) and some sliced fresh tomato (somebody else's garden).  Its Sicilian in character. The next one is the next one - its Southern.

Tilapia with Marsala Sauce

(Makes 4 servings)

4 tilapia fillets
Kosher salt to taste
Fresh ground black pepper to taste
All-purpose flour
3 Tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2/3 cup dry or semi-sweet Marsala wine
10 ounces mushrooms, trimmed and sliced
½ small onion, chopped

Sprinkle both sides of fillets with salt and pepper. Dredge in flour, patting the fillets to dust off excess flour.

Heat 2 tablespoons oil over medium heat in a large skillet. Fry fillets until just brown on both sides; remove to a platter. Add 1/3 cup of the Marsala and stir to scrape up any brown bits on the bottom of the pan. Pour over the fish.

In the same skillet, combine mushrooms and onion with 1 tablespoon olive oil. Cook over medium heat, stirring often until tender; season to taste with salt and pepper. Stir in the remaining 1/3 cup Marsala.
Return fish and sauce to the skillet. Cook over low until heated through, adding a bit of water if needed for a saucy consistency. Serve fillets on a platter with the Marsala sauce spooned over them.

***

Wine Enthusiast: "Florio's Dry Marsala shows etched aromas of carmel, maple syrup, candied chestnut, butterscotch and dried prune. This historic fortified wine opens with a saturated almond color and offers an opulent, textured feel in the mouth. (Mar 2011)"

***

Pecan-Encrusted Fish with Florio Marsala

2-6 ounce fresh tilapia fillets (best with red snapper or grouper if you can find them - $)
1 beaten egg, seasoned with a pinch of Old Bay Seasoning
¾ cup crushed pecans, pulsed in a food processor
Salt and pepper to taste
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 cup heavy cream
1 tablespoon fresh chopped tarragon
1 tablespoon Florio Dry Fine Marsala

Season the fish on both sides with salt and pepper. Dip into the seasoned egg mixture, then into the crushed pecans.

In a medium non-stick skillet, add the oil and saute the fish until the center is flaky, turning frequently.

In a small saucepan, bring cream and tarragon to a slow simmer and reduce until it coats the back of a spoon.

Whisk in the Florio Marsala and drizzle onto the fish.

How God Speaks to Us

The recent prediction by an nearly 90 year old minister that the "Rapture" and eventual return of Jesus would occur on May 21 of this year got me thinking about how God actually does communicate with us.

I then can't help but recall the great Bill Cosby skit on Noah and how masterfully Cosby worked that routine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bputeFGXEjA&feature=related

Borrowing from the Alpha Course, I like the way we are instructed to consider how God actually does communicate with and to us.  In the course its called the "five CS's" and the instruction goes like this (with each "CS" representing a method or mode):

1.  Commanding Scripture
2.  Counsel of the Saints
3.  Compelling Spirit
4.  Common Sense
5.  Circumstantial Signs

Sometimes in reading the Bible I get a clear message that seems to fit my situation at the time, or I'll recall some language in Scripture that I know is meant for instruction.  The Rev. Camping (of May 21 fame) should know that the Bible tells us through Jesus' own wording that no one will know the day or the hour of His return.  Believing that he had the date all figured out suggests a good bit of arrogance and dillusion on his part.

In his case a bit of the other CS's might have helped those he led to believe in the prediction and maybe somebody could have told him to just keep his mouth shut and not lead folks astray -- he did more harm to the Christian world than he helped convert new followers.

So while it is ironic that Camping felt he had so accurately parsed through the Bible to come up with his silly prediction, he should have also known enough to realize he was headed in the wrong direction to begin with.

So here's where you might look at these five CS's and understand how they apply in the real world and on a daily basis.  Obviously believers (and nonbelievers) would do well to read the Bible, it was always difficult fo me to read it without a bit of help.  Small groups, instructional sessions and study guides for either the book of the Bible you intend to read or the entire New and Old Testaments help me.  I use a Study Bible and attend a regular study group along with regular classes held at our church.  That practice goes a long way in helping to understand God's Word.

By itself the Bible isn't always enough to guide me.  That's where the other four CS's come into play for me.  And I will say that no one CS is able to necessarily stand alone, but is usually paired or partnered with one or more of other modes.  Let me see if I can explain that idea.

If Camping knew the Bible so well, his own common sense plus some instruction by others (Counsel of the Saints) would have shown him that he was tracking in the wrong direction.  My guess is that his bad judgment was performed in some kind of vacuum.  And now he has amended his prediction to this October -- just to show how hardheaded he can be.

Right!!!

Working at the 72nd Senior PGA Championship at Valhalla

From last Wednesday on through Sunday, May 29th, I was a marshall on the 14th hole at Valhalla for the Senior PGA Championship here in Louisville.

I was "stationed" either on the tee box, the crosswalk, or the green and got to see the golf from some pretty nice vantage points.  Even got to chat with a few of the pro golfers and a bunch of the fans during the week.

From the tee this hole appears this way:

We started with week with rain and temperatures in the 50's and by Sunday it was clear, dry and in the 90's.  I was reminded of this fact on Sunday when the eventual winner, Tom Watson, arrived at the 14th tee and asked his caddy for the Gatorade bottle in the golf bag.  Tom swigged the half that was left and started looking for the trash can to throw it away.  Standing just 5 feet behind him, I stepped up and offered to dispose of the empty.  That lead to a chit chat for a few minutes as he waited to tee off.

Tom is personable and friendly.  I thought he'd be about my height, but he's around 5'9" and built about like I am.  Well, I have the "biscuit belly" and he doesn't.  We talked about the radical change in temperatures through the week.  We also talked about his position in the tournament and he thought then he had a chance to win it.  And if he could have sunk the 5 footer he had on 18, he'd have won without a playoff.  He made par on 14 and off he went.

Volunteering at a PGA event is worthwhile.  I did so at the Ryder Cup in 2008 and look forward to the chance to volunteer for the next PGA in 2014.

Got Blueberries?

On a trip to Costco today I noticed some really good-looking California blueberries:

So I bought them - they came in a 2 pound container for under $7.  Kind of thought that was a deal. 

So I get home with all these blueberries and realize that's alot of blueberries.  I had no plan (I'm sure that surprised you) and thought, "Oh, we have some frozen pie crusts in the fridge!"  Open that boy up and there's only one crust in the box.  "What?"

A little internet research and I have adapted a one-crust (sorry, there they call it an "open-faced blueberry pie" - well la de da) blueberry pie recipe to my own liking.  La de da again!

This recipe calls for:

One (not 2) 9" frozen pie crust
1 egg white
4 1/2 cups blueberries
1/2 cup water
2 tablespoons of water (separate)
2 tablespoons cornstarch
zest of one large lemon
juice of the same large lemon

And it goes like this:

Preheat an oven to 425 degrees.  Thaw and roll out the crust into a 9" pie pan.  Cover the crust with foil and weight it (I used raw rice. some people like to use uncooked beans, and some even have "pie weights" - oh, please).  Bake for 20 minutes and remove from the oven.  Uncover, prick the surface with a knife all over (umm, say 2 dozen jabs) and return to the oven for 5 minutes or until golden brown.  Remove and cool for 20 minutes or until you can touch the crust without pain.  Brush with egg white and continue to cool.

In the meantime while all this cooling and other stuff is going on - bring 1/2 cup of water to a boil, add one cup of cleaned (and drained) blueberries until the berries burst.  Dissolve cornstarch in the 2 tablespoons of water and add to the blueberry/water mixture along with the sugar.  Dissolve thoroughly.

Add the rest of the blueberries and combine with a wooden spoon until fully coated.  Allow to rest while your crust is doing the same.

Pour the berry mixture into the crust and set aside for around 2 hours, or so.  Serve with a dollop of whipped cream.

Call me later after you recover.

Pulled Pork BBQ

So what do you do if there's only two of you in the house and you'd like to smoke a pork roast? 

You buy a 6 to 8 pound Boston Butt pork roast.  You can do this at home with a good knife, or ask your butcher to do it:  Carve the roast into two roughly equal portions.  There is a bone on one side of the roast and a obvious separation of the roast which makes for a good place to carve it in two.

I use one end immediately and freeze the other end for later.

Today I'm using the once-frozen section and it looks like this thawed:

I seasoned it with a pork rub overnight once it was thawed (about three days in the fridge).

Start your grill - on one side only - and find an old pan that will hold around 2 cups of water ("old" because you won't be able to use it for any other purpose once you're done with the smoking part - I have an old pan we used while camping that is now re-purposed for this task alone).  You are going to be cooking "in-directly" with the pan of water underneath the pork and the other side with heat and some wood chips.

Place the pork roast over the pan on your grill and sprinkle some hickory chips over the hot coals or bricket part of your grill.  The chips will provide smoke which you want for about two hours.  BTW, you want to soak the chips for an hour in water so they don't just flame out and burn up without producing smoke.  Cook the roast (grill cover closed) for two hours this way - adding more chips as they stop  producing smoke.

Turn the roast (always fat-side-up) after the first hour.  Once the two hours are up the roast has absorbed all the smoke flavor it will and now you are looking for complete cooking.  Internal temperature of around 170 F is done.

This process looks like this:

Once you get the pork done take it off the grill and let it rest for 30 minutes:

 "Pull" the pork using a couple of forks and just sheard it apart into thin sections.  Add your favorite BBQ sauce at this point and serve on buns or on the plate.  We're having ours with my Kentucky BBQ sauce, cold potato salad with hard boiled eggs and celery, plus corn-on-the-cob -- don't you wish you were visiting tonight?  Got some Kentucky bourbon to go with it if you drop in!

Butterflied Chicken on the Grill

Sometimes, many times often, I find myself in a rut with what to grill.

One sure cure seems to be to try something entirely new for me - or at least a dish that I have not done in years.  This past weekend I grilled a whole red snapper and last night did a whole chicken.

I'll post pictures at a later date, but the chicken recipe has potential worth sharing.  Mostly because all of have whole chickens available to you -- and not so much the whole red snapper.  Right?

Start with a good-looking whole chicken that has not been fed a diet of steroids and looks all puffy and overly fat.  I bought a Perdue bird nicely packages with the innards stuffed inside.

Wash and place the bird breast-side down and with kitchen shears slice up the back from the tail to the neck cavity.  Go up one side of the back from the taill and then repeat on the other side until you have removed a strip about an inch in width right up through the middle of the bird.  That will allow you to spread the chicken out flat.  Once you have done that, look inside and you will see the rib bones.  Snip them out and further press the chicken out on your cutting board.  Nice and flat.

Drizzle some veggie oil, rub it in all over the bird and season all surfaces with yoour chice of grilling herbs (at a minimum salt and pepper).  Entomb the critter with plastic wrap and refrigerate for an hour.

Meantime, we'll prep the glaze and mopping sauce.  And what a glaze it is!

Ingredients for this include:

1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1 T honey
2 T maple syrup
3 T light brown sugar
2 jiggers your favorite Kentucky bourbon
2 T BBQ sauce
1/2 t red pepper flakes

Combine well and set aside with a brush for mopping on the grill.

Start your charcoal on one side of the grill and get a old metal pan or aluminium deep dish (no larger than about 8 inches long and 5 inches wide) you can toss away and fill it with water (about 2-3 inches).

All this will allow you to cook the chicken indirectly for 2 1/2 to 3 hours.  I added some hickory wood chips after the first hour of cooking. 

Place the bird on the grill breast up.  Roast covered for an hour, drizzling with your bourbon-laced glaze about every 20 minutes.  Obviously, you'll be sampling the unused bourbon while this process is in the works.  Roast for 1 1/2 hours and flip.  Continue the process for the rest of the alloted time.  Internal temperature needs to be 185 degrees to be done.  During the final cooking time place the bird breast-side up directly over the coals.  If the leg or wing comes free while moving her around that's a good sign your chicken is about done.

I'll take and post pictures next time around.  Sandy claims "This is the best thing you've EVER done on the grill."

Weekend at The Masters

A good friend called me on the Wednesday before The Masters and asked if I wanted to go to the tournament.  "When do we leave? was the response he got!

We were the guests of Mercedes-Benz and they showered us with attention and world class treatment.  It was a privilege to get to see this golf tournament in that manner.

My objective was to take-in the Augusta National Golf Course - I've seen most of the players during the Ryder Cup and PGA tournaments here in Louisville.  Augusta National is a stunning golf course.  Since cameras and cellphones are not allowed on the course, I needed to kind of "burn-in some mental pictures of Hogan's Bridge and the 13th green (which is posted above).  You might imagine that nether television nor photos do the course justice.

So that's a Bucket List item checked off in a way beyond my dreams.  So now, for golf, playing St Andrews is the remaining item on my list.

Why I Hate Tax Time - by Henri

I decided today I don't like tax time. 

My Daddy talks to himself alot during this time of year and that kind of bothers me since I can't tell if he's talking to me or the federal government.  I hope its the federal government, 'cause I don't want him to talk to me that way.

Also, he seems like he's stuck on the computer too much.  I have to go over to him to make sure he's okay since his breathing is unsteady and I can tell his heart rate is irregular.

There's also papers all over the place and usually right where I need to walk.

He said I was not deductible - which might be a good thing since I am already lovable and adorable and his best friend.

I really don't want him to deduct me since if he did someone from the federal government might come and take me away if he used me as a deduction ... something about a government that is powerful enough to give you want you need is powerful enough to take everything you have.  That sounds wrong.

I hope he doesn't have to pay too much.  I worry about the good stew I get here and if Daddy has to pay alot I might not get homemade stew to eat.  I don't care for kibble and Science Diet or ProPlan.  I grew up on Purina Kennel Ration so I know about poverty for dogs.  That was a long time ago - maybe almost two years.

I brought him a stick today.  It was one I had worked on for awhile - I don't think he can handle the hard stuff right now, so I brought him one I had chewed on for a day.  I hope he uses it 'cause that boy needs to chew on something.

Anyway, that's what I think.

My Laptop Goes Kaputski

We went out to dinner a couple of weeks ago and I just left the laptop running.  By the time we got home it had gone into a "sleep" mode and never recovered.  I went to the desktop PC and then on to Toshiba's website to try and find a fix.  Ended up with a live tech rep who ultimately advised I take it to Best Buy where I had bought it.

That revealed that the motherboard had fried itself.  I bought a box to allow me to access the files on it and now I'm confined to this desktop PC.  Somehow the convenience of the laptop seems irreplaceable.  As you can tell I've not been posting.  Well, that and numerous distractions - Alpha course's last week, and Sidney and Karl visiting for a week.  All more fun than this.  Sorry.

The Hamster in the Bar

A mangy looking guy goes into a bar and orders a drink.  The bartender says, "No way. I don't think you can pay for it."

The guy says, "You're right. I don't have any money, but if I show you something you haven't seen before, will you give me a drink?"

The bartender says, "Only if what you show me ain't risque."

"Deal!" says the guy and he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a hamster. He puts the hamster on the bar and it runs to the end of the bar, climbs down the bar, runs across the room, up onto the piano, jumps on the key board and starts playing a tune. And the hamster is really good.

The bartender says, "You're right. I've never seen anything like that before. That hamster is truly good on the piano.  Here's your drink"

The guy downs the drink and asks the bartender for another.

The bartender says, "Money or another miracle, or else no drink."

The guy reaches into his coat again and pulls out a frog. He puts the frog on the bar, and the frog starts to sing. He has a marvelous voice and great pitch. A fine singer.

A stranger from the other end of the bar runs over to the guy and offers him $300 for the frog.

The guy says, "It's a deal." He takes the three hundred and gives the stranger the frog. The stranger runs out of the bar with the frog.

The bartender says to the guy, "Are you some kind of nut? You sold a singing frog for $300? It must be worth millions. You must be crazy."

"Not so", says the guy. "The hamster is also a ventriloquist."

Pork Sirloin Roast

Ever notice that pork tenderloins can get pretty dried out?  A pork sirloin is larger and tastier and holds up better in the cooking process so you actually get a juicier product at the end.

Ingredients:

2 pound pork sirloin roast

1 tablespoon whole black peppercorns

1 tablespoon dried rosemary

3 large large garlic cloves, crushed

Method:

Using a mortar and pestle, grind the peppercorns and rosemary together.  Crush garlic cloves and spread over all surfaces of the roast.  Sprinkle and rub in the pepper and rosemary.  Place roast fat side down in a 9x13x2 inch roasting pan and place in a preheated 350 degree oven for 40 minutes (20 minutes/pound).

Remove and let rest for 15 minutes before carving.

We served ours with rice, green beans and gravy made from the drippings in the roasting pan (that’s a roux with butter and flour in equal parts combined with the grease and crumblies right in the pan).  If you want to add salt, do it to the gravy and not on the roast.  Pork has a bit of natural salt so if you sprinkle salt on the pork before roasting, be very careful and go easy with it.  Taste the gravy before you salt that too.

Prayers Get Answers - Yes They Do!

A few days ago I posted the final segment of my talk for our church's "Alpha" course on prayer.  Alpha is a worldwide instructional series that we have been doing at our church for many years.  I have been through the course myself and have given some of the talks in the series over the years.  This year I was asked if I would be the lay leader.  That involves putting a team of people together that lead small group discussions after the talk each night and a few other duties.

The course each week includes a dinner, babysitting for children of all ages (usually with some instructional/activity-based process for them while the parents are pre-disposed), some music/singing component, a talk and then the small group discussion centered around the talk topic.

Aside from the organization aspect, my own involvement is playing the guitar (along with a good friend) to lead the song segment, a mandatory joke or two to lighten-up the group, and then introduction of the speaker for the evening.  On four of the nine meetings I have been asked to provide the talk. 

The guitar part has been an emotional challenge for me.  Last year my friend (Bob) and I were asked if we would play and lead the song segment.  When asked I said' "Yes, if Bob will."  When the priest asked Bob a few days later he said, "Yes, if Ned will."  So that was that.  We played and lead.  Bob and I met each week on Sunday or Monday nights to figure out what we could play and sing, then assembled a songbook for the participants and did the deal.

Its a bit easier this year since we have the songbook already and we've "done the gig" before.  We might be better at it this year.  Plus, I actually have developed a bit of "a voice" which will come as a surprise to some of you who know me well.  Secretly I am John Fogerty's mini-me.  But that's a real big secret .. maybe it could be classified as a wish.  As in, "you wish."  Chump.

My anxiety around playing the guitar and leading song is that, while I did that a time or two in high school, all my playing has been strictly for my own consumption at home and without singing.  I do not carry a tune well in voice and have a small portion of  a "musical ear" with which to draw from.  So really I am best left alone in the man-cave with my guitar to romanitize and fantasize how good I am.  Look out CCR and the Stones.

I can give a speech in front of thousands and have done that many times without a nerve, but playing the guitar in front of a few dozen people is a scary event for me.  That is really outside the comfort zone for me.  Mmmm, no.  But its working so far and no one has laughed or walked out on us because of the music.

I gave the talk on prayer Wednesday night of this week.  It went off about like I had planned.  Speakers are not to use a script in this.  While I did have my talk written out word for word I also had an outline and I used that.  My fear with an outline is that I'll transgress into a lengthy tangent and forget where and why I was going there.  "Happens all the time" - to quote the insurance lady on tv.

The talk went well.

Here's the punch line:

I belong to a golf club - probably the least expensive private club in the city.  The intiation fee is a one-time deal of $1,000.  Annual dues are $800.  Then you pay to play at a very low rate each time out.

We don't have the $800 just sitting around the house.  In fact, my wife told me that "in truth" she couldn't understand how I could justify the expense given I could play at a public course for a good bit less money.  In my mind I am involved in a much better deal, play with established guys that know me and are "buddies" and do not have to put up with "the public" golfers who can be kind of frustrating as they scratch around the course.

Yesterday we got a check for over $900 in the mail.  I had said a prayer asking that if I could/should be playing golf at my club going forward that it be made clear to me in some way.  My wife had said the same thing in prayer.  When we opened the envelope and saw the check, we knew what it was.  Totally unexpected source and amount.  Everybody had some tears and a whole lot of appreciation for how God really does take care of His children.

Its an excess to some and a drop-in-the-bucket to others.  To me it is another year of my major exercise and sports activity in my life.  It is also a clear and present proof that God answers prayer.  Go back and read the talk I wrote.  And pray.  He does listen no matter what the topic.  You need to ask.

Losing Credibility

My stuffed green pepper experiment was a "fail".  I had leftover marinara and meatballs.  They were fine.  I sauteed more chopped onion, peppers and garlic - just fine.  I added some nice bread crumbs and parmesean cheese.  No prob.  Good rice.  The peppers were just beautiful. 

The failure was adding two eggs.  When I added the eggs I was thinking "This will bind the stuffing" and as I'm breaking the eggs over it I'm seeing a stuffing mix that is already "bound" and does not need more help.  In they go anyway.  Mix it up and its kinda gooey-ish.  Stuff the peppers and it looks decent.  Finish off in the oven and serve and its still too gooey.

So lesson learned is fogetabouttheeggs and just stuffthepeppers.  I'll re-run with the change and share if it hits the mark.

Meantime, hope I don't lose too much "cred" with you guys.  At least I admitted it.  BTW they didn't "look" bad:

Finally - go read and take recipt of Stacie's Greek Stuffed Pepper recipe in the comments.  Wow.  Gotta do that and the Stuffed Tomatoes when those boys are in season.  I LOVE stuffed maters.  Mmmm.

Men in Heaven - Who is the Head of the Household?

At the end of the age when all the believers were standing in line waiting to get into heaven, God appeared and said, "I want all the men to form two lines. One line will be for the men who were the true heads of their households. The other will be for the men who were dominated by their wives."

God continued, "I want all the women to report to St. Peter."

The women left and the men formed two lines. The line of men who were dominated by their wives was seemingly unending. The line of men who were the true head of their household had one man in it.

God said to the first line, "You men ought to be ashamed of yourselves. I appointed you to be the heads of your households and you were disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose. Of all of you, there is only one man who obeyed me. Learn from him."

Then God turned to the lone man and asked, "How did you come to be in this line?"

The man replied, "My wife told me to stand here."

Can I Get A Witness?

Thrashing around in my foodie head is the thought of Stuffed and Roasted Peppers.  I know in my version of them you would find Italian sausage rather than ground beef.  I'd have rice, onion, tomato, garlic, basil, some light brown sugar, and maybe even corn.  But, my sense tells me that I'd need to depart from the stuffed green peppers of my youth.  Ugh.  Sounds like cafeteria food - or at best the stuff your Mom made you eat as a kid. 

So my version is going to have a different spin to it.  But I need a witness ... somebody else to inspire me to create and test a new recipe for stuffed peppers.  Yellow?  Red?  Orange?  Green?  All of them at once?

If I get a witness, I'm all over it.

Simple Marinara with Meatballs

When we're in the mood for Italian food, but without wanting to make a big deal of of it, I usually turn to a simple marinara sauce and whip up some meat balls.  Served over thin spagetti with some Sweet Italian loaf bread, a salad, and grated parmesean cheese this is easy and hard to beat.


Here's how I do it:


Ingredients:


1 pound of Purnell's (or Bob Evans, or ... from the butcher shop) Italian Sausage
1/4 large yellow onion, chopped
1/4 green pepper, chopped
1/4 red pepper, chopped
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 teaspoon basil
1 teaspoon oregano
1/8 teaspoon fennel seed
1/16 teaspoon red pepper flakes
2 tablesppons light brown sugar
1 large can Contadina crushed tomatoes
1 small can Contadina tomato paste
1 cup mushrooms, cleaned and chopped
1 cup Italian bread crumbs
1/2 cup grated parmesean cheese
red wine
olive oil


Begin my mixing the bread crumbs and grated cheese with the sausage.  Form into meatballs about the size of a golf ball.  There's a certain nostalgia in that for me - given the outside temperature today is around 20 degrees and golf balls are quietly sitting in the trunk of my Infiniti patiently waiting.  Hang in there boys, it won't be long!


Oh, marinara with meatballs ... sorry.  One pound of sausage makes about one dozen meatballs ... the size of golf balls (sigh).  Lightly brown the meatballs in a large skillet and transfer to a plate with a paper towel laid out to absorb excess fat.  Add the onion and peppers to the skillet and saute lightly.  Pour in a splash of wine to deglaze the pan. 


Add the garlic and mushrooms.  BTW, I usually deglaze the pan with some frozen chicken stock I keep in the freezer - ice cube trays do have another purpose in life - but wine would do as well (or both).  Return the meatballs to the skillet.  Add the tomato products and one can of water (using the paste can) and the same amount of red wine.  Add the brown sugar and herbs.  Mix and bring to a light bubble.  Add a pinch or salt and a couple of grinds from your pepper mill.  Taste, adjust, cover and walk away.


Allow to simmer and bubble for as long as you want - mine typically goes for 3 hours.  Very little supervision is required ... I find it hard not to have this pressing need to "taste test" about every 30 minutes.  But I'm retired and a Type A obsessive/compulsive.  You do your thing, your way ... it'll be just fine.


When its time to eat, prep the pasta, plate it up or serve it family style (boy, there's another nostalgic deal for you since everybody in our family lives in another State of this Union - scheesh).

Interesting Day

When you come to visit you're going to have to go to the Shady Lane Cafe with us!  Sandy and I had lunch there today and found the SLC a terrific place to get a classic Rueben sandwich.  Looks like there's plenty of fun stuff to eat - great looking salads, homemade soups, and authentic sandwiches - my next one will be their Philly Beef and Swiss Cheese.  Based on the Ruebens we had, I'm betting this is a gourmet version of a Philly Cheese Steak sandwich without the Cheese Whiz.

We also saw the Lemon Blueberry Cake in person and got to talk with Susi and her husband.  They were lots of fun, very personable, ran a busy restaurant with ease, professionalism and personality.  Lots of smiling faces, lots of food going, tons of energy, and a clean and delicious place to eat.

A good Rueben sandwich needs four things that The Shady Lane Cafe knows all about: top notch corned beef and Swiss cheese, good toasted bread, great sauerkraut and a good Thousand Island dressing.  Then it has to be steamed to melt the cheese and served quickly with a good dill pickle.  There it is - go get one or come over and we'll hit the SLC together!

On a side note -- related to the Seminoles.  I usually wear my Seminole parka in cold weather.  Have been for several years.  Today and yesterday I had people coming up to me wanting to talk about the Florida State football program, the #1 recruiting class they just put together, and the preseason #3 ranking ESPN just gave us.  Huh?  Guess we're back on the national football radar again.  Its been too long.  Go Noles!!!

How I Became a 75 Pound Dog – by Henri “Bo” Wood

I weigh 15 pounds on my Vet’s scale.  Sometimes I weigh 75lbs.  If I am dozing or asleep on your side of the bed, I’ll weigh 75lbs.   Try to move me and you can tell.

How can a 15lbs dog weigh 75lbs?  It’s a sort of Zen-thing I can do.  Let me explain:

You know how in the golf swing when you get the club up to the top of your backswing there is this momentary pause (not paws) before you start the club back down?  What precedes the downswing is a subtle weight shift from your back leg to your front.  At that moment you are pressing on the ground harder with your front foot and you have increased the pressure you are exerting on the ground then and for the whole time while you are completing your swing.  It’s called “leverage” and it helps you hit the ball further.

Same deal with jumping up in the air.  Think of a basketball player getting ready to make a jump shot.  As he steadies the ball in both hands, he crouches slightly and then leaps straight up, releasing the ball at the top of his jump.  At the moment he goes from a crouch to straightening his legs he is using leverage against the floor to push off.  If he weighs 200 pounds standing straight up (or on my vet’s scale), he exerts considerably more force than 200lbs into the floor while he is pushing off to get up in the air.  The vet’s scale probably says 275lbs.

I might note that you can do the same thing lying in bed.  Tonight as you lie there, push yourself into the mattress, breathe slowly and maintain that pressure into the mattress.  You are creating leverage and the effect is that you weigh more.  As you sit there now reading this, lift your feet off the floor – creating leverage into the seat you’re on.  You are harder to pick up now than you were a second ago with your feet on the floor.  Leverage.

So I know my leverage and I weigh 75lbs when I’m on your side of the bed.  That is why you “let a sleeping dog lie” – you can’t move us anyway!

Well, anyway, that's what I think.